After the lengthy and difficult births of our two previous children my overriding thoughts on hearing that Sarah was pregnant again were to ensure the safe arrival of our third child and to minimise the risk of complications for Sarah. The input from the hospital midwifery team supported this view and strongly advised that elective caesarean was the safest option after our two previous caesarean deliveries.

Although modern men like to think that we are in tune with our partner’s views on childbirth and are empathetic and involved it is not always possible to see such fundamental things such as natural childbirth from the same perspective. This was the situation with our third child, with myself wanting to follow the risk averse route advised by the hospital while my wife wanted to explore every possible option to deliver our third child naturally.

This situation was the trigger that encouraged Sarah to explore commissioning the services of an independent midwife. Prior to entering into any contract Nicky was incredibly helpful and patient during email communications with us giving research papers and personal input on the likelihood of a successful outcome to my wife’s goal of natural childbirth. Although I was initially sceptical and at times considered that Nicky’s encouragement to my wife could lead to a dangerous situation when labour started it became apparent that Nicky’s support was far from reckless.

Nicky’s patience during an extended labour period enabled my wife to remain at home with the confidence that she was being continuously monitored. This reduction of time in hospital reduced the early stresses of the birthing process, and when Sarah was ready Nicky advised the move to hospital. Nicky was ever present but never controlling and acted as a great moderator to the wishes of NHS staff to move rapidly to caesarean. This enabled Sarah to give every last ounce of effort to the attainment of natural childbirth but when this goal was out of reach Nicky stepped forward and explained to Sarah that it was the time to go to theatre.

Although the outcome was not the natural childbirth that Sarah wanted, it was clear that with Nicky’s support Sarah had been allowed and encouraged to try every avenue to attain her goal and we can now look back on the birth of George with no “If only I had done this” or “If only I had given it a bit longer” thoughts.

Nicky was present throughout the last 21hrs of labour, and at no point looked at her watch, or hinted at having to go. She was the most steadfast support to Sarah with an empathy that only an experienced midwife and mother could have.

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